Debbie Stanley

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Summing it up in a sentence.

I have been reading professional development books for a while now and started to notice a theme.  There is usually a chapter, paragraph, or section that discusses death.  It does not seem to be limited to “financial” books only; there are many business books, autobiographies, and self-help books that lightly broach the subject of death.

I recently finished “The Leadership Handbook” by John C. Maxwell, and while there were many learning points and a-ha! moments for me to utilize and implement, I stopped in my tracks when the last chapter discussed death and our legacies.

Mr. Maxwell had an interesting angle; in fact, he titled the chapter “People will summarize your life in one sentence-Pick it now.”  Those of you who know me know that I pretty much live and breathe everything that has to do with estate administration and the role of the Executor.  I can speak on the topic for hours on end and discuss the things we should consider, plan, and implement for our loved ones.  I had never really stopped to think about my one-sentence……what would people say at my funeral?....

Debbie was a hard worker?....

Debbie had a killer collection of shoes?....

Debbie loved food?....

When I stopped to think about the legacy that I am building today- to be remembered for tomorrow, I realized that I needed to consider more than just financial planning, legal concepts, tax planning, and many, many, many checklists.  I needed to appreciate the value of leaving a good legacy for others that did not have anything to do with the paperwork version of me. Simply put, how will I be remembered?

The reality for all of us is that eventually, every single one of us will die.  There is no sugar coating this fact; there are only two things in life that are guaranteed….being born, and one day we will die.  Some will argue it is death and taxes, however with some tax planning and individual circumstances, even paying tax is not always guaranteed! I digress, back to our future deaths….when we pass away, it is possible a gathering of some sort will be held and loved ones will congregate and talk about you (because, well that’s why they are there). Here in this setting, your loved ones may summarize you into one sentence.  The question is, what do YOU want this sentence to be? And how can you live your life intentionally to ensure you pass this sentence on?

John C. Maxwell offered the following points in his chapter, and I will summarize how I personally interpreted his advice:

1.      Choose Today the Legacy you want to leave to others: My takeaway here is that sometimes we live our lives on autopilot, and by intentionally choosing today what you want to leave for others, means that you “pop” yourself out of cruise control and become aware of how we impact others.

2.      Live today the legacy you want to leave: The first step was to identify the legacy you want to leave, and now the second step is to live it out.  How you live out each day that will directly impact how others will remember you? For example, if you want others to remember how kind you were, well, then you must be kind now.

3.      Appreciate today the value of a good legacy: We can boil it down to appreciation and perspective.  We must care enough about others to appreciate the impact we can have on them.  We must also understand that the seeds we plant today may not grow and bloom until long after we are gone.

When I reflected on the steps in “The Leadership Handbook,” I decided that it was time to be focused on the legacy I want to leave behind. Therefore, each day I must try to remove the auto-pilot mode mindset. I have now added reflection time to my daily task list to ensure that I am actively thinking about how I will impact those I care about.

In the end, I do not know what that final sentence will contain when my friends and family gather to remember me, but in the meantime, today I have chosen the legacy I want to leave, and I will work hard each day to stay true to how I will impact others.