The vacation break between Christmas and New Year’s is one of my favorite times away from the office. I tend to lose the sense of the days of the week, food tastes yummier, and calories don’t count! I wear my holiday jammies, curl up under my fluffiest blanket, and binge-watch all my guilty pleasures.

This year I decided to catch up on the latest release of Sex and the City, and if you haven’t watched the newest instalment of SOTC, please be advised that there are spoilers below:

**SPOILER ALERT**

In the new season, Carrie Bradshaw’s husband, John Preston, aka “BIG,” dies of a heart attack. Now, I usually tend to perk up anytime there is a storyline about death as I want to see how Hollywood will handle what happens “after” the loss of the character. 

I thought how Hollywood depicted Carrie’s experience was well done, and nothing blog-worthy until the following episode, where things got interesting to me! Carrie goes to the lawyer for the “will reading” (which is not a real thing here in Canada), where she learns for the first time what her husband had in the form of estate planning. There she learns that he left a substantial sum of money to his ex-wife without any explanation. “BIG” causes his grieving widow to fall into a spinning cycle of resentment, suspicion, and even downright stalking.

While we don’t have “Will readings” in Canada, most of the time, the family is learning about the Will details for the first time after the death has occurred, leaving many questions unanswered and potential for confusion and even heartache. So how can we ensure we open communication with our loved ones on one of the touchiest subjects?

1.       Utilize Hollywood to start the conversation-Luckily there is no shortage of TV Shows or Movies that cover the topic of death, which might make it easier to talk about. For example, what was Darth Vader’s estate plan? How could “BIG” have included Carrie on his wishes in his Will? Once the conversation flows with others, you can then bring the dialogue into your estate plan.

2.       Don’t be shy-I have learned, communication is not always clear, even with the best-laid plans. So don’t hide behind the paperwork created as an excuse to not review it with those that should know more about your decisions. If you never talk about it, what happens if your Executor does not think your instructions are clear enough?

3.       Do it in little bits-You do not have to do everything in one sitting. For example, you can have small conversations with your Executor about various items of your estate instead of a six-hour marathon. Break up the topics you will cover into manageable meetings; maybe one-time review what is in the house, another time go for a walk and discuss funeral wishes. Making it into painless sessions is more likely to set the conversation up for success.

We can do many things to make preparing our Executor and loved ones easier. However, the main thing is just to start having the conversation, even if it is little sentences at a time. Don’t leave your loved ones with such confusion that they end up resorting to stalking someone to get some answers as Carrie Bradshaw did!